I used to run three to four miles a day. Yes, plump girls get their run in too. However, I fell off –way off in the past six months. I blame school, work and the genuine disinterest in doing things that did not involve wine, whiskey, carbs and streaming T.V.

But I digress. This past month with no lent resolution set I decided to get back into it, but I needed a playlist. I needed something that would get me going and inspire me. I need something to keep me moving, make me forget about my haters and encourage me so that one day when the zombie apocalypse comes I can out run my haters.

Therefore, I found a good playlist mixed with dubstep and rap. This past week due to a series of happenstance, I found another mixtape Cardi B’s Gangsta Bitch Music Volume I that not only pushed me on but also inspired me to keep being me and stay on my hustle.  I needed that in my life right now. I needed something to make me stop saying sorry, stop thinking about my past mistakes and just move on. As a broke Ph.D. student with big dreams, I needed that mixture of New York style rap with overt references to feminism. Cardi B’s mixtape Gangsta Bitch Music Volume delivered in spades.

For those of you that do not know, Cardi B is a regular on VH1’s Love and Hip Hop. I am new to Love and Hip Hop and having binged on it during the fourth season I am hooked to the crazy, the complex and the dear God why of it all. One of the women I liked but could never figure out why was Cardi B. As an up and coming female MC in a business dominated by males Cardi B pushes through and stays real on all fronts. Her larger than life persona may be off-putting to some. However, it is what makes her life and experiences relatable to many Black women.  She is not on the show to give sage advice, hold anyone’s hand or offer the ice cream and cookie dough comfort found in somebody’s romantic comedy.

After streaming her mixtape during my run, it hit me.  I Iove Cardi B because she is unapologetically herself.

So yes at this moment, I am all the way here for Cardi B and her brand of feminism, her love of self and her love of getting what is for her.  I enjoyed her before her takedown of Peter Gunz. In just a few minutes, Cardi B came through, sat down at the table, drank her Malbec, and politely told every hotep misogynist follower of the philosophies of patriarchal men that none of that was welcome at her table. In the same breath, she was telling all women not to sit at a table or even invite to their feast of life any man that would do such things to them.

Cardi B is sex positive in that she celebrates women’s rights to be sexually free. In a society, that tells women they only have two choices be a whore or be a. Cardi B is not just telling women to embrace their sexuality but telling women to embrace themselves and know their worth.  Though just a regular degular shmegular girl from the Bronx Cardi B more than most understands the intersectionality of feminism and that women of color face a particular set of issues in terms of race class and gender.

I cannot say I came to my feminism at an early age. It took me a while to grow into loving myself, to understand myself and to embrace my brand of feminism. After having my moment or moments of great awakenings (sometimes it takes a while for me to learn my lesson) I can say I am so here for Cardi B on all levels. No matter her past, her present, or her flaws, one can see a woman who knows her worth and knows herself enough to embrace her sexuality, her personality, and her ambition. Let’s  just stand up and give Cardi B and her mixtape a slow clap because real issues, thoughts, and feelings that are particular to Black women come through in her lyrics.

Cardi B is featured on the over legs wide, Corona in one hand and tatted man kneeling between her legs.  The cover makes me think of one of her more memorable quotes from episode 4 “The Bald and the Beautiful” “Ever since I started using guys, I feel so much better about myself. I feel so god damn powerful.”

Over heavy beats, Cardi B covers a swath of issues, “Her Perspective” and “Selfish” cover abusive and dysfunctional relationship. “Everything for my Family” and “B.O.N” delve into her place as a woman in the industry and her grind to get where she is today. The 13 tracks also cover pride, loyalty, sexism, loss and redemption.  Sprinkled within the 13 tracks are songs like “On Fleek” “ Washpoppin” and “Foreva” that offer beats to get the night started off right with any girl crew.

Will she win artist of the year? Maybe not, but did her mixtape make me want to go harder on my run? Absolutely it did.  My experience is not her experience, but there was something empowering that I felt I could connect while listening.

Tracks like “On Fleek” with lines like “I go to the desert for weeks, when I come back I come back with the heat” made me think about my experience in the harsh academic field. It’s hard for women in the ivory tower and even harder for Black women.  Sometimes I get knocked way the hell down, but when I come back, I come back harder and stronger.

“My family Dedication” -“You know people underestimated me and made feel like I ain’t going to amount to shit because I used to be a stripper.” Now I never was a stripper, but yes I know the feeling of being underestimated. I was even told by a high school teacher that I would never make it through college. I would love to blast this song in front of her house at 2 am.

Another particular line from the song is- “Lord forgive me for my sins. Forgive for the crazy shit I wish I wouldn’t have did.” Once again Cardi B is not apologizing for her past or asking for male forgiveness for her actions. Something, which many women are taught to do. It’s like in order to be whole again our male counterparts must find us remediable and most of the time they don’t. (Think Ciara and Russell Wilson).  I don’t need forgiveness or redemption from anyone but the God that I believe in. Yes, I have done some things in the past, but no man on earth will make me feel like I am worthless about.

These tracks and others like “B.O.N “ “Washpoppin” and “Ten Trick Commandments”   turn the gendered norms of society around.  As a female MC and as a woman in general Cardi B faces an onslaught of misogynist double standards.  However, in her tracks, she raises her middle finger high and pushes onward.  As a Black Woman in the academic field and (has a black woman in general) I face these same double standards and according to Cardi B, I should say fuck that and keep on pushing on.

Yes, she spits bars about tricking, stripping, and getting what’s hers. Yet isn’t work ethic the American way or do we just slap morality clauses on things deemed morally unacceptable especially when performed by brown and Black bodies (another story for another day)?  The tracks reflect an unapologetic personal philosophy that should empower women. During the show, Cardi B has expressed her views, on marriage, work and has not said sorry for not wanting to have kids and be a homemaker. She has talked about the man she wants to marry and how he needs to support and understand her dedication to her music and her career, which she started from the bottom up through her Instagram page.

Many women find themselves the same type of conundrum that Cardi B and her boyfriend Tommy went through. I have been with a person who I cared for and even saw a future with. However he wanted the same thing Tommy wanted from Cardi B, and he didn’t understand my professional grind and ambition. In fact, during the breakup, he called me a cold-hearted bitch because of it.  Even though I told myself, I would never apologize for my ambition I found myself doing so. Yet after watching Cardi B and listening to her tracks, I thought why the hell should I?  Do I want kids? Yes, but do I want to be a stay at home mom doing her duty for her man? Nope! That’s not me. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that because part of feminism is that it’s a choice. Cardi B does not knock women who choose that lifestyle, but she just knows it is not for her. And I know it’s not for me.

After the end of my run, I for one felt inspired. So yes, I am here for Cardi B and her brand of feminism. I am here for her brazen antics, her complete audacious acceptance of women’s sexuality, and her clap backs and slaughter of the patriarchal double standard that pigeon holes and demoralizes women.

My mantra for the run. Love yourself, embrace your sexuality, know your worth, and don’t allow worthless people to sit at your table because they will spoil your taste for life.

Cheers-